Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
