i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
