Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
