did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
