Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
