Need sex. Gaining weight.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
