ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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