i already hear my dad disowning me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize