Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
