So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
