My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
