i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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