There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
