its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
