I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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