We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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