THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
