Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
