Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
