i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
