I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
fuck your aforementioned shoe
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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