It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Randomize
