i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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