Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize