walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
