You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
