For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize