He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
