Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
