Yo dont text me then not text me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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