Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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