I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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