he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
