either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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