just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
