U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
