that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
