Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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