he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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