she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
