just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
