u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if i can run in heels then i can drive
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize