508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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