A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
