do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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