Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
