she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
