I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
