he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Success! We fucked roommates!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Someone signed my nipple.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
