i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
