Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
