I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
