they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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