Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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