Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
