I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
