my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
