no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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