So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This is my gift to your gina
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
