Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
