Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
