Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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